Indoor Plumbing

Practically a requirement to have 4 billion adjectives at your disposable in order to advert your props properly

But alas

The accompanying photos often tarnish the agent's silver tongue in a heartbeat.

Now bathrooms are a beast to photograph - I'll give you that

Generally, all you can see is 3 inches of $3000 worth of Italian marble and the reflection of the soaking tub you convinced the developer would raise the price, but 145% of the ole blue water.

No one is buying the miracle of indoor plumbing people.
They're buying a fantasy of time spent lounging around in bubbles reading books and drinking champagne.
One rule about bathroom shots?

CLOSE THE LID

This listing has the most strangely photogenic baths I've ever had the pleasure of photographing.

Holiday Countdown

As I threw the last piece of chocolate at some teenager swearing up and down that he was wearing a costume - every retailer in America ripped down the orange & black and tossed up the red & green.
Every real estate agent felt their pain - but we have a shorter goal.
Turkey Day might as well be D-Day - if you don't have a paper offer by then you can kiss it till Spring Hunting Season.
I'm outie.
Easier to sell without the Halloween decorations attacking the buyers.

Sweet Sweet Real Estate

Negative Nellies - Back off

Saw about 20 plus for sale signs in a short morning walk

Yeah there's still a lot of inventory blah blah

What was interesting was how many were from smaller firms

Buyers turning to different agents as their listing lingers

Hey - you know what

Good for them - what this market really does is let the cream rise to the top

And cream is what makes rich, rich desserts, natch.

Beat the Dead Horse Slowly

So the buyers have all taken their bags of money & hunkered down in front of the telly.
The sellers don't want to drop their prices.
The sellers drop their prices & the buyers stay with the telly.
You advertise more; which costs more.
But commissions are less.

Fridge conks.
Cicadas coming.
Beebleberry dies.
Electric rates up.
Toilet runs.
Pirates cooler than ninjas.
Identity stolen.


Security breach at the State license office.
Your social security number out there for 5 months, selling like , well certainly not like deal estate, like, um, hotcakes.

That's how those buyers got the giant telly in the first place.

Ambulance Chasing

Okay well it's a step up from following little old ladies as they are transferred to nursing homes & leave that pristine bungalow just waiting for my lawn sign


How can the Chicago Olympic Bid benefit ME & by default Chicago Real Estate?

Please do not suggest I rent that movie with Jonny Crashville either

Outsider Art Chicago Stylee

Call it Atomic Age or Mid Century Modern - it's just Grandpa painting the garage door to me

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The Dearly Departed

May their souls and all the souls of the dearly departed rest in...



Wait a minute


This isn't a Funeral Home?
Masonic Temple?

Nope - it's BADDITION® - the Death Edition

And because you know we here at Real Estate Ninja have such a large photo op budget - we were able to stage a before and after shot

Please sign our guest book so the family may thank you for your condolences

The City that Works

And the Association that works...

Tada

Chicago Real Estate Agents Rejoice...

And write your check

The City of Chicago Professional Service Parking Permit is here

The Tin Man

So I stood outside and sang that song by America

Didn't do nothing that I didn't, didn't already do

Occupational Hazards

Why can't I just get a nice listing?

Guts

It's the Anatomy Coloring Book for Development.
Chicago's warmer weather is ramping up the crews.
I wanted a shot of me ascending the staircase but the wife frowned upon that.

Chicago Beargalow

One of the few times it is kewl to stray from the vision of Chicago Bungalow perfection - when the Chicago Bears are going to the Superbowl.

Then it is de rigeur to celebrate with plaster waterfowl masquerading as the spirit squad.

Speklunk =Splat

Ya know what a Real Estate Ninja does while his wife is assembling 70 people for his surprise party?

Urban spelunking

Breeze by the RA who is in iPodblivion & check out the place's mechanicals, natch.

Then exit down the fire escape.

Can't be late for your own party ya know.

You Be Grillin

This is totally being renovated to flip into condos.
Telltale sign - Balconies.
Right after granite countertops and in unit laundry, IT IS WRITTEN that all vintage remodels must have a bacony.

Why fresh air is forbidden to renters I do not claim to know.
But only when you actually invest with hard cash may you have something that is kinda free to all.

BADDITION® Amnesty

This wins the "If it can't be gorgeous at least it's interesting" award.
And the award for "Don't worry what the map says, You can't miss it"

London Calling

These are the new neighborhood lampposts
Not sure how I feel about these puppies. They're ok looking I guess.
But is this the city of Chicago or a film set for a London mystery?
Feel like I should be wearing a trenchcoat to go to the mailbox

Obiligatory Chicago Bears Post

Go Bears!
Bring back those 8th grade memories.
The first rap song I ever heard was Superbowl Shuffle.

Let it Snow Already

Yeah yeah - I'm not going tell you it's oh so pretty or that.
But I have been waiting to see how the city plans on plowing around/over/up to - their 578 thousand speed bumps.
Child safety. Crime deterring. Sure.
Thought all the way through? Perhaps not.
Really - how is a Chicago garbage truck gonna come at these & push snow over them if I make sparks at 6 mph?

And fine they get the one side clear. Are they really gonna do the other side or is there gonna be a mini sledding hill in effect thus ruining the child safety factor?

Belated Xmas

The gifts we give ourselves are the usually the best.
Like this chunk of tile from the construction site at Halsted &

Van Buren. I caught the red & saw it just laying there in a puddle. Jumped out. Grabbed it & met my wife in the car down Halsted.
So it was raining.
That just made it shinier.

BADDITION® Energy Conservation

No drafty windows here. No sirree. They're all warm & toasty and probably quite pale.

On summer evenings they project movies for the neighbors too.